it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
There's always time for handjobs
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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