the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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