did you get engaged???
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
