Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize