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I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
