I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
