I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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