why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
