I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
