I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
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