Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
