dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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