The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
