We named our party play list daddy issues
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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