There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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