Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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