jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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