just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
