We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hippo gnu deer
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
