is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I can't turn off my feet"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
