So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
whose parrot is this?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
