I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
