Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
