clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
