Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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