she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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