I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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