The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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