i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
