She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
