Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
