I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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