my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
