I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize