Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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