Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
i need some magic done to my vagina
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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