I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
