Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
