I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
