Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
