i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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