my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
