The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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