I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
