Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
