so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
