so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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