My first STD was from a foam party
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Found the puke drawer
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
