just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
