She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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