last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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