Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
