i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
