you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
