Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
