I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
