Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
