and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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