Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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