Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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