whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
