I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
