Soap is not a condiment
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
