just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
