brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
only if we run a train.
done.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
