Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize