your parents love me but you hate me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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