Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize