Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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