PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
